i dunno if ive posed this or not so yeah btw i luv feedback
SLASH ROX SOCKS
and sirius hehe
KILL TONKS !!!!
Harry Potter and the Order of the Pigeon
We apologize to any homosexual, English person, evil menace, coke dealer and any homosexual English people who are evil menaces and are coke dealers or anyone else who have been offended by this movie. We understand that the characters are J.K. Rowling's. This movie is the author’s own work and does not represent real events in the real world.
*Dumbldore carries small Harry to Dursleys home*
Dursleys: Harry make me a nuclear fission reactor
Harry: feed me
*Harry runs away and spontaneously ends up at Hogwarts*
Ron: I’m Ron and this is Hermione
Hermione: Lets go duel
* At the duelling club*
Random nerd: Abra ka-frog
Harry: Abra ka-mustard gas
*Harry catches a random ball*
Teacher: Wow you would be really good at quidditch
Harry (Flying): This is pretty easy
*Bludgers attack Harry without mercy*
Harry: I don’t like this game
*Snitch flies into Harry’s hand*
Announcer: Harry has unconsciously won the cup for Gryffindor
Hermione: I love you Harry
Harry:. . .
Hermione: Harry . . .
Harry: I love you / Ron
Ron:. . .
Hermione: I think u played well harry
Malfoy: No one asked you, you stupid mudblood
Ron: that wasn’t very nice :: Abra ka-hangover::
* Spell backfires*
Ron: *does dance*
Harry: I saw professor Quirrel headed to steal the philosopher’s stone
Hermione: let’s go kill him
Narrator: our heroes battled many tasks to get to the stone
Nerd: aww my parents are going to kill me
* Goes to evil guy*
Quirrel: Give me the stone, I can’t find it
Harry: maybe its behind the large mirror
Quirrel: no you have it *sniffs coke*
Harry: did you at least check?
Quirrel: *sniffs coke* it won’t *sniffs coke* do any good *sniffs coke*
*Quirrel OD’s, coke falls down*
Harry: this stone can duplicate anything
*Duplicates massive amount of coke*
Harry is serving detention with his teacher; Lockhart
Lockhart: My name is professor Lockhart
Harry: hello professor loc. . .
Lockhart: my name is never to be spoken
Lockhart: your punishment is to help me with my work *breaths down Harry’s neck* *makes muffled groaning noises*
*5 hours later*
Harry: I don’t want to do this freakin’ work!!
Harry hears talking from the wall
Wall: Hello neighbour, I watch you when you sleep
* Room trashed*
Harry: where are my boxers
Wall/snake: heh. . . heh. . . alright
Harry: man! I feel like going into the girl’s washroom really bad
Harry: Abra ka-arbitrary hole in the floor!
Harry: wow look it’s a tunnel
Snake/wall: I’ve been waiting for you . . .
Snake: what the . . .?
*Phoenix violently beats the crap out of the snake*
Harry: goes up to Ginny
Harry: oh no! Ginny . . . someone might save you
*1 year later*
Dursleys: shut up you! aunt Marge is here
Harry: she’s fat
Dursleys: your fat
Harry: I’ll make her fatter!!!
Harry: Abra ka-cellulite
Harry: Bye aunt Ballon Face *runs to Hogwarts*
Ron: I hear there’s a suspicious new teacher that’s in cahoots with Voldemort and is trying to kill you, harry
Harry: stuff like that is pretty boring now
Hermione: ya . . .
Teacher: tomorrow is our annual trip to hogsmeade
Harry: oh boy there’s a lot of fun stuff in-
Teacher: shut up you can’t go
Ron: I can smuggle you into hogsmeade harry
Ron: well, that door over there leads to hogsmeade. And it’s never locked
Ron: but there’s a giant ravenous mother mole behind it so watch that you don’t touch its babies
Harry: . . . I love you Ron
Ron: . . .
*harry goes to hogsmeade. Mother mole hisses, harry runs away*
*Harry meets Fred and George at hogsmeade*
Fred George: Hello Harry can we interest you in anything?
Harry: no but how about I sell you 26 grams of cocaine for cheap?
*Fred and George smile*
Harry: man I’ve never had butterbeer before lets see what it tastes like
*Baking soda and vinegar mouth thing*
*Harry falls and wakes up in hospital*
Ron: thank god your ok harry, by the way I have something to cheer you up . . .
Ron: !! LOOK WHAT I BOUGHT YOU IN HOGSMEADE!!
*shows harry coke*
Harry: your clueless
Ron: and I also got these
* show beans*
Harry: wow every flavoured beans! I’ve never tried one of those
Harry: eww backing soda and vinegar flavoured
Ron: how do you know what that tastes like?
Harry: umm . . . LOOK, SASQUATCH!
Ron: very funny harry, he’s too fat to fit thought the door
*Sasquatch Beats Ron to a mushy paste*
Hermione: what the hell was that all about
Harry: oh, it’s best not to get into Ron’s personal life
Hermione: Whatever, I came to tell you that the person trying to kill you is in this building right now
*Killer slowly raises knife above Hermione*
Harry: . . .go on . . .
*Hermione turns around and killer runs away*
Hermione: I think he’s also trying to kill Peter Pettigrew
Hermione Your parent’s friend
Hermione: your godfather
Hermione: let’s just go
*At the shrieking shack*
Harry: some psycho is trying to kill you
Peter: oh really . . . come up to the bedroom so we can discuss this
Harry: umm. . . I’m fine here. . . really
Sirius: I will kill you peter
Peter: save me harry!
Sirius: wait! he killed your parents!
Harry: ok lets kill him
*Violent beating of peter*
Sirius: just kidding
Harry: oh . . .
Sirius: just kidding about just kidding
Harry: that makes me feel better
Sirius: Just kidding about just kidding about just kidding but not really
Harry: this is seriously hurting my self-esteem
*Peter gets up like terminator*
*Violent beating of peter again . . .*
Harry: I’m glad that’s over
Sirius: Harry . . . there’s something I have to tell you
Harry: yes. .
Harry: aww . . . that’s nasty
Sirius: no really the dementors are after me . . .
Harry: the what?
Sirius: the dementors they are the homosexual prison guards of azkaban
Harry: how many are after you?
Sirius: all of them
*At azcaban all convicts are escaping*
Convict 1: The first thing I’m going to do is kill my old school professor
Convict 2: I’m starting my own drug ring
Convict 1: sweet
*Back to Sirius and Harry*
Dementor: *muffled noises*
Harry: I don’t see the big . . .
Sirius: it’s not their mental ability it’s their creepiness
Dementor: hey there gorgeous. How about you come with me. . .
Harry: AHHHH. . .
Harry: Professor Lupin, you have got to help me!!
Remus: with what harry?
Harry: there are homosexual monsters after me!!!
Remus: IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH HOMOSEXUALITY!!!
Harry (frustrated): WHY IS EVERYONE GAY!!!!
Remus: Because were English – zzzinggg!
Harry: How very racist…
Harry*thoughtful*: and all this time you seemed so darn straight
Hermione: actually, nonotreally
Remus: The only way to fend off a homosexual predator is to act like an unattractive gay.
Harry: Sounds like a Chinese proverb…
Remus: Okay, first you have to dress in an ugly dress…
Harry: I think I’ll just do it my way. Bye
*Harry goes to the dementor*
Harry: Abra Ka-straight!
Dementor: I’m straight…. I’m…. STRAIGHT!!! WAHOOOO!
Remus: (comes from a random place) What does everyone have against gays?
Harry: I’d appreciate it if you’d stop following me.
Remus: Admit it harry. You NEVER loved me.
Harry: okay, I didn’t
Remus: (makes disgusted sound and walks away)
Sirius: Now that the dementor is straight, it will try to suck out our soul!
Harry: Crap. Let’s go.
*Violent beating of the dementor*
Harry: It looks like everyone is happy.
*switches to Remus*
Remus: there’s nothing wrong with being gay. It’s cool
Ending credits: Please note that voldemort is still alive and be prepared to spend $59.99 on the sequel to Harry potter and the Order of the Pidgeon, Slow Harry- Fast train; subtitled The end of the Wizard hero.
Current Music: QUEEEN